Mom Support.org Blog

Lots Going On with MOMSUPPORT

Blog Admin — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 13:56:41 +0000

Inwood Sleep Workshop: June 29th 12:30
Upper East Side Sleep Workshop June 30 at 1pm
Inwood Infant MassageJuly 1 at 11:30
Morningside Heights Sleep Workshop July 7 at 1:30
Prenatal Yoga Center on W 72nd: 3 Session Summer’s New Mom’s Group July 8, 22 and August 5
Riverdale Sleep Workshop: July 10

Keep your eyes and ears open for the upcoming Working Mother’s Support Group

Questions about these and my infant massage parties and sleep workshop private gatherings: Contact Jessica at 347-875 7123

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Spa Castle made me feel like a Queen.

Blog Admin — Tue, 18 May 2010 13:56:29 +0000

So went to Spa Castle in College Point Queens, right over the Whitestone Bridge. It’s such a vacation going there. I”ll tell ya- it’s like Korean bath house meets Disney World. It’s sparkling clean, relaxing and a fun family destination. We spent 4 hours, which is our typical “run” when we are there. I take the girls and go to the hotbaths, off the women’s locker room. We go from pool to pool, jet to jet. Then we usually head upstairs to saunas (all different kinds). M loves the LED light sauna (different lights, different moods), J bounces from one to the other and I like the cold sauna.

We usually do lunch- where I stay away from the fries and sushi and head for the salads and fruit. Then we head upstairs/outside. There are hot pools and jets and massage showers. IT’S GREAT. It was beautiful out so it was glorious to be up there. Highly recommend this place for the family or for your own escape.

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Babies…the movie

Blog Admin — Mon, 17 May 2010 14:40:32 +0000

I saw it with my daughters, we all really liked it. Sitting in the first row of mezanine seats, helped.

I am sure you have heard the description- following 4 families, different countries, different cultures- in the babies first year of life. Namibian, Mongolian, Japanese (from Tokyo) and US (San Fran)

‎ – 1hr 19min‎‎ – Rated PG‎‎ – Documentary‎ -
Director: Thomas Balmès – Cast: Ponijao, Bayarjargal, Mari, Hattie – :

Re-defining the nonfiction art form, Babies joyfully captures on film the earliest stages of the journey of humanity that are at once unique and universal to us all. The film simultaneously follows four babies around the world — from birth to first steps. The children are, in order of on-screen introduction: Ponijao, who lives with her family near Opuwo, Namibia; Bayarjargal, who resides with his family in Mongolia, near Bayanchandmani; Mari, who lives with her family in Tokyo, Japan; and Hattie, who resides with her in San Francisco, Calif.

The Namibian family moved me the most. What seems to be a matriarchal culture, at least the raising the babies part (I didn’t see any adult males). These babies were give such a rich experience to explore their environments.

Here is a review: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/can-third-world-moms-help-you-be-a-better-parent-1393790/

Great go to- movie

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New Mother’s Groups around the City: Discounts galore.

Blog Admin — Fri, 07 May 2010 17:01:46 +0000

Upper West Side: New Mom Support Group at Prenatal Yoga Center
for moms with babies 0-6 months
Attention: This is NOT a drop-in class!
Pre-registration required
Mondays or Thursdays | 2:30-3:30pm

Mondays, May 3 – June 28 (8 weeks, no meeting 5/31) a lovely group of women, space still available. Pro-rated fee applies.

Thursdays, May 13 – June 17 (6 weeks)

Mondays beginning May 3 | $135 this is the pro-rated fee
Registration still open, call 212-362-2985 for details!

Thursdays beginning May 13 | $135

http://www.prenatalyogacenter.com/cmps_index.php?page=events

Inwood: New Mothers Support Group at Bread and Yoga

8 session series, a lovey group of women with babies aged 3 weeks to 4 months. Ask about pro rated and sliding scale fee.

Tuesdays at 12:30

Washington Heights: New Mothers Support Group at Wiggles and Giggles

8 session series, baby’s age range 2 weeks to 4 months. Pro rated fee $110.

Thursdays 11:45

Call to register:

Upper East Side Group at Metro Minis:

Wednesdays 11:30

A facilitated support and discussion group for moms with their babies (newborn – 6 months), led by certified social worker and mother of two, Jessica Shapley. Find the power to embrace the journey of motherhood with confidence and connect with new moms just like you. Share experiences, ask questions, and make supportive friendships. Topics include: mom and baby wellness, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, introduction to solids, sleep issues, staying at home versus working outside the home, isolation, childcare, family life, self image, and more.

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Washington Heights in the Bloggersphere

Blog Admin — Fri, 07 May 2010 16:37:29 +0000

New kids on the block in Washington Heights

Posted on November 9th, 2009 by Yaffi Spodek in Education, Featured, Living

Reported on Oct. 22, 2009

A typical morning for 20-month-old Josie Dean includes painting, singing, baking and knitting, all done in the company of several friends. Whether it’s story time, music class or “Mommy and Me” yoga, there is no shortage of kid-friendly activities in Washington Heights.

“It’s just a great place to raise children,” said Josie’s mother, Jennie.

As younger families populate Washington Heights, the numbers of infants and toddlers are noticeably increasing. According to the 2000 census, there were 14,389 people under the age of 5 living in Washington Heights and Inwood, comprising 6.9 percent of the district’s population. A 2008 census analysis by the American Community Survey found that the number of children in the area under the age of 6 totaled 21,594, accounting for 9.9 percent of the population.

The baby boom is not unique to northern Manhattan. In 2006, The New York Times documented a similar increase in the rest of the borough, as the number of children under age 5 grew by more than 32 percent over the last decade, and anecdotal evidence supports these statistics.

“From my own observations, I can definitely say that the rate of births is up, and yes, there are more children,” said Ebenezer Smith, district manager for Community Board 12. “Just walking on the street, you see so many mothers pushing their baby carriages.”

Others, like social worker Jessica Shapley, have noticed the trend as well. For close to nine years, she has been leading support groups for mothers in Washington Heights. A new group starts every eight to 10 weeks, Shapley said, with more than enough new parents to attend each cycle of sessions.

“I started this group out of my own need when I first moved here because there was nothing,” she said. “Now there are definitely more children and young families than ever before.”

Shapley also moderates a “Parent and Me” Yahoo! group, which boasts over 1,000 participating families from Washington Heights and Inwood.

One local hub for kid-friendly activities is Fort Washington Collegiate Church. The church hosts an educational program called Bloomgarden, which began there in early October and meets on Mondays and Wednesdays. The program, which emphasizes artistic expression through interactive classes, now caters to a small group of eight parents and their children, with expansion plans on track for next semester.

“We wanted to create a place where parents and children can grow together, and ‘bloom,’ so to speak,” said Rachel Lederman, Bloomgarden’s co-founder. “It’s a place for creative expression.”

The Tuesday Toddler group, a free program funded by optional donations, features story time, guitar-led singing, and free play. Nearing the end of its fourth year, the program has expanded well beyond its original eight families, and now attracts close to 80 families each week.

“It’s a chance for both kids and parents to socialize,” said Troy Schremmer, the church’s director of education who runs the program. “It’s really about meeting a need for young parents in the community.”

What Shapley likes about Washington Heights is that “it’s a unique place with a small-town feel, where people really know the faces of their neighbors,” she said. “These different programs speak to the needs of the community, and people are moving here from other parts of Manhattan because they want that kind of kid-friendly atmosphere.”

New programs continue to spring up as more and more people opt to raise families in the city. On Nov. 1, the Jewish Community Council of Washington Heights-Inwood started a lending service for maternity clothes and baby supplies that includes pregnancy and parenting books, and items such as strollers, swings, and booster seats.

“I had been receiving phone calls asking for baby items,” explained Anat Coleman, community affairs officer for the Jewish Council, a not-for-profit organization that provides a range of free social services. “In the last five years, I have seen many young families moving into the area, and many don’t have space in their apartments or can’t afford to buy these items, so this was created in response to their needs.”

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New York New and Expectant Mothers Event

Blog Admin — Sun, 02 May 2010 15:32:58 +0000

So- I was a part of the new and expectant moms event, yesterday. It was sponsored by New York Family. I shared my table with Katie Kheil one of the dance instructors (and moms) of Discovery Program (100th and West End). Their program has been around since the 70s and provides programing for families from newborn through adolescents. Mommy/daddy and me, movement, dance, support, parenting programs and more www.discoveryprogram.com

I got to see past participants from my groups and sleep clients on to their own mother-business ventures. I have always felt that mother hood gives birth to new and different careers, as well.

I got to see friends and colleagues like Deb Flashenberg Prenatalyoga.com from Preantal Yoga Center, Felina from the Upper Breast Side www.upperbreastside, Joanna and Bianca from Metro Minis (www.metrominis.com), Laura Heller from babyfingers (www.mybabyfingers.com). I met Lance of NYC Dads Group, which is “an active group of involved fathers in NYC”. Tracy Gary from intuition-nutrition.com . I got to meet people in person who I have only had a virtual connection with. People like Lara Paul from ikidsny www.ikidny.com, The car seat lady thecarseatlady.com and more

This is the first of one of these “trade show” events I have embarked on. I smiled a lot, schmoozed and collected a lot of goodies from the other tables. They even had a free Gelato booth. NO sugar for me tho, I kept a safe distance.

I also got to see a lot of my “past new moms”. We are talking like moms onto their 2nd or 3rd baby- the oldest being 7 years and me feeling like the proud “grandma”- YIKES : )

I have been providing support and services to new moms and families for over 10 years. Prior to this, I had worked with individuals and families; facilitating groups and providing service, for another 10 years. WOW, I’ve been at this a while. But it’s interesting, or maybe not. It always feels new.

This work is something quite precious to me about working with a new mom or parent or family. There is usually such an openness, a desire and need and want to build community around you and your (new) family. Each relationship, each family unit, each group of new moms finds a different energy and a different need and it’s great to be a part of this growth, inquiry and connection.

Thank you Mommies and New Families and Happy Mother’s Day!

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Upper East Side and Inwood Groups and Events

Jessica Shapley — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 21:25:27 +0000

Metro Minis: New Mom’s Support Group- with Jessica Shapley

Wednesdays at 12pm starting April 14 at 12pm
6 session series
$120

http://momsupport.org/blog/?page_id=41

Bread and Yoga: New Mom’s Support Group - with Jessica Shapley http://momsupport.org/blog/?page_id=41

Tuesdays at 12:30 – Spring session begins April 20th

For moms and their babies, newborn-6 months

Topics in the group include: Mom and baby wellness, breast feeding, bottle feeding, sleep issues, staying at home versus working outside the home, isolation, childcare, family life, self image & more. Be a part of a growing community of new families right here in your neighborhood

Sleep Workshop – Tuesday, April 6th at 11am http://momsupport.org/blog/?page_id=41

Explore sleep solutions for the whole family. A talk for parents with babies newborn-12 months. We’ll talk about schedules techniques for calming age appropriate expectations and more……..plenty of time for questions

Infant Massage Workshop - Sunday, April 18th at 2pm http://momsupport.org/blog/?page_id=41

For parents and caregivers with babies newborn to pre-crawling

Massage is great addition to your toolbox of techniques to soothe and bond with your baby. Massage assists with sleep, colic, communication and relaxation. Learn the techniques, routine and benefits of massaging your baby.
Infant Massage is taught in a relaxed, hands-on, one hour session. It is a gift each parent will be able to share with their child throughout a lifetime.

Please bring and extra blanket
dress your baby in 2 piece outfit
bring food grade vegetable oil (ie. olive oil, grape seed oil)

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Babysitters…….even tweens can do it!?

Jessica Shapley — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 16:23:37 +0000

Received this on a local yahoo group I moderate. Liked it and want to pass it on! Enjoy.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/Freerangekids

Lessons from The Baby-sitters Club
Posted: 24 Mar 2010 09:56 PM PDT
Hi Folks! Here’s a lovely essay by The Wall Street Journal’s Laura Vanderkam
about, well, the cultural significance of The Baby-sitters Club.

Yes, I know how ridiculous (or at least American Studies for Dummies) that
sounds. And yet — you don’t sell 176 million copies of any series without making
some kind of impression on society. And the impression young readers got from
the girls in the Club was that kids their age could actually be responsible and
make money. Like adults! As Ms. Vanderkam puts it:

Hidden in the plots that show that friendship is good and that teasing, racism
and bossy boyfriends are bad, [author Ann M.] Martin imparts two more important
messages that modern readers need to hear: Teen girls are capable of handling
far more responsibility than we give them credit for, and they, like the rest of
us, can choose to make their own way in the world.

Right on! One of the Free-Range notions is that kids long to be adults, and
that’s a good thing. The human desire to grow up motivates kids to learn and
strive and get a paper route. (Remember paper routes? Remember papers?) It is
our job to help them along that path, rather than putting up a big, “CAUTION!”
sign and marching them back to the ExerSaucer.

About a year ago I posted a query asking, “What age did you babysit? And what
age babysitter would you hire now?” The discrepancies amazed me. Grown women who
had cared for kids, even infants, at age 10 or 11 now wouldn’t let their
13-year-old stay home for an hour alone at night. And they sure wouldn’t trust
their toddlers to a 12-year-old.

Scholastic’s Baby-sitters Club, about to be re-issued (with a new prequel,
too!), reminds us that not very long ago at all, we trusted “tweens” to do more
than just text. God, maybe we didn’t even call them tweens. — Lenore

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Calender of Events:

Jessica Shapley — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 02:26:02 +0000

Sleep Workshop: Feb 22 at 12pm $20

for parents with babies newborn to 1. Talk about schedules, age appropriate expectations, calming techniques, identifying sleep windows and more. Plenty of room for questions.

At: Discovery Program 251 w 100th street (Morningside Heights)

New Mom Support Group: in Morningside Heights at Discovery Program. For Moms with babies newborn-6 months

Topics include: mom and baby wellness, sleep, bottle feeding, breast feeding, changes within yourself, changes within your family, childcare, returning to work and more

8 session series introductory fee of $120

At: Discovery Program 251 w 100th street (Morningside Heights)

Mom’s Group for mothers with babies 6-12 months: Prenatal Yoga Center on West 72nd street. 212-362-2985
8 session series

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Yoga Therapy: The Pelvic Floor and More!

Jessica Shapley — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 16:15:07 +0000

Yoga Therapy: The Pelvic Floor (and More!)

Date: February 28-March 4, 2010 (Sunday-Thursday)

Hosted By Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health (Lenox Mass)

The pelvic floor is comprised of muscles that are often elusive and seem
beyond our conscious control. Yet, the perineum and the pelvic girdle are an
integral force behind most human functioning. By bringing awareness,
strength, and suppleness to these muscles, you can address incontinence,
alleviate pain in the pelvis, hips, knees, and back, breathe more
efficiently, increase sexual fulfillment, assist childbirth, and facilitate
many functional activities like lifting heavy objects, rising from chairs,
and walking up stairs.

This week, you will learn low-tech, noninvasive techniques that draw from
yoga, tai chi, qigong, Feldenkrais, and conventional rehab therapies to
guide people toward improved health and function. This accessible program
will also familiarize you with the anatomy, pathology, pain mechanisms,
physiology, kinesiology, mind-body energetics, and psycho-emotional aspects
of pelvic floor concerns.

Bridging East and West and addressing mind and body, this program is
designed for physical and occupational therapists, yoga and qigong
therapists, psychotherapists, Pilates teachers, fitness professionals,
somatic therapists, midwives, and everyone with an interest in the pelvic
floor.

Presented by: Bill Gallagher, Richard Sabel, and Jessica Shapley

Go Here to Register:
http://www.kripalu.org/program/view/YTEW-101/yoga_therapy_the_pelvic_floor_a
nd_more
Or Call Kripalu for Details on Accomodations: (800) 741-7353

For Information on Course Content Email info@eastwestrehab.com or call
(800) 297-3815

Presenter Bios:

Bill Gallagher, PT, CMT, CYT, is director of the East West Rehabilitation
Institute, a master clinician in integrative rehabilitation at Mount Sinai
Medical Center, and an instructor in clinical physical therapy at Columbia
University. Bill has developed a uniquely integrative approach to optimize
pelvic health. By integrating the physical therapy traditions of the East
with therapies of the West, Bill helps his clients maximize function and
minimize pain. He sees a broad spectrum of clients with pelvic floor
concerns in his practice including incontinence, pelvic pain, coccydynia,
and prolapse. Bill can be reached at Bill@EastWestRehab.com

Richard Sabel, MA, MPH, OTR, GCFP, is educational director for the East West
Rehabilitation Institute, a certified Feldenkrais practitioner, and clinical
assistant professor at SUNY Downstate’s program of occupational therapy.
Richard has successfully integrated Western therapeutic practices with
Eastern philosophy into a distinctive therapeutic approach to help clients
who have been limited by pain and disability reengage in meaningful
activities. He regularly leads community programs and works individually
with clients to address pelvic floor concerns. Richard can be reached at
Richard@EastWestRehab.org

Jessica Shapley, LMSW, CIH, CMT, utilizes a strength-based approach to help
women cope with physical and emotional challenges. She facilitates groups
for new mothers in Manhattan, providing a safe space to get support for the
changes new mothers face, including pelvic floor concerns like incontinence,
pelvic pain, and intimacy. Jessica holds a master’s degree in social work
from Columbia University and is certified in Integral Health Counseling by
the California Institute for Integral Studies. A mother herself, Jessica is
a certified massage therapist, a licensed social worker, and the director of
Momsupport.org. She also teaches infant massage. Jessica can be contacted at
Jessica@momsupport.org

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Childcare

Jessica Shapley — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 13:56:05 +0000

Childcare, it’s one of the biggest issues personally and professionally. I will say, once the childcare piece is in place you can concentrate on the here and now, which is your baby.

Giving yourself enough time to find someone and hire them before you actually have to return to work , should leave you feeling much more confident in your decision. For all parents, the overwhelming question of “how do I begin this search” is often coupled with a fear of leaving their baby with a “stranger”. Good and affordable childcare is an emotional and financial issue for all parents.

A part time babysitter can run $12-15 an hour. A nanny (full time sitter) can range in price from $400-700. Referrals come from all sorts of places; neighbors, friend’s babysitters, the playground, a bulletin board, your friends. If you are looking for a part time or occasional sitter, you might try calling Cabrini High School at 212 923-3540, talk to the dean of students. They have identified good candidates for babysitting and will help match a student with a family. Barnard Babysitting Service is another option. Their telephone number is 212-854-2035. For a low fee they will try to match a student with your family’s part-time needs. You also might try posting in the lobby of Columbia’s School of Nursing student service board. Fax over your job description (212-305-3680) .

Before you interview the perspective nanny/babysitter you might want to find out their past experience and describe what you’ll need. Check references first then have a face to face. When talking to past employers ask if they’d hire them again. Find out how they found her and when and why she left. When interviewing the candidate clearly state what your expectations are and find out how flexible she is. Discuss safety issues and setting limits. Try to figure out what your views on TV or phone use would be, you expectation around nap schedules or housekeeping. Legally, you can ask anything you might feel is pertinent, from their health or medications they take to their own childcare needs. You can also ask to see an ID or driver’s license. You’ll want to be up front about vacations, sick days, travel expenses and general expectations. Some families write up agreements that all parties sign.

If a full time sitter is not affordable, Family Daycare, tends to be a less expensive option. Word of mouth and resources such as the Day Care Council of NY (www.dccnyinc.org) can provide licensed listings. Licensing requires 1 adult per 6 children (2 of which can be infants). Group Family Day Care requires 2 adults (1 provider and 1 assistant) for up to 12 kids, 4 of which can be infants.

Family day care can be a lovely option. Find out if they are licensed, what the ratio is, how the space accommodates both toddlers and infants, ask around and observe. The Department of Health can provide information on reported violations. For local listings of childcare resources you can look up www.washington-heights.us/ and click on resources and then click on childcare and you will find centers in the area.

Remember, who you hire now might not be the person you have in 6 months, 1 year or 3 . Your needs might change and your child’s needs might change. Factor in a trial period. From my experience there are more good childcare providers than bad. The more time you can have with this person or place before returning to work, the more comfortable you’ll feel leaving your baby. The relationship, ultimately, can be an enriching and loving experience for your baby and an asset to your family.

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Jessica Shapley — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 02:56:20 +0000

Winter Newsy-Ness…

I am bringing New Mom’s Groups and New Parent Programing to you. My goal is to connect mothers and families, answer questions and ease transitions. I provide sleep workshops, teach infant massage and facilitate new mother support groups around the city, in a neighborhood near you.

I am thrilled to add The Discovery Program in Morningside Heights to my list of venues. This is a wonderful program that has provided programing for families for over thirty years. Morningside Heights has continued to grow into a wonderful family centered community. I am happy to join their commitment to serving new moms and families in and near Morningside Heights. With the New Mother Support Groups moms will find their power to embrace the journey. See you in the neighborhood.

Jessica

Schedules: Programs and Places

Discovery Program Morningside Heights
New Mom Support Group
www.discoveryprogram.com
251 West 100th Street
New Mom’s Support Group
Wednesday February 3 at 12:30
$155
Attention: This is NOT a drop-in class! | Pre-registration required
212-749-8717

Prenatal Yoga Center: UWS
prenatalyogacenter.com
West 72nd Street
http://www.prenatalyogacenter.com/cmps_index.php?page=events
212-362-2985

New Mom Support Group for moms with babies newborn-6 months

Attention: This is NOT a drop-in class! Pre-registration required
Mondays Class
Thursdays Class
both 2:30-3:30pm | 8 weeks | $155
Next Monday group: February 8 – April 19 (no meeting 2/15, 3/1, 3/29)
Next Thursday group: March 11 – May 6 (no meeting 4/1)
212-362-2985
http://www.prenatalyogacenter.com/cmps_index.php?page=events

Mom Support Group- Settling Baby: Settling Mommy(for moms with babies 5-12 months)

Attention: This is NOT a drop-in class! | Pre-registration required
$155 for new participants | DISCOUNT! $135 for returning 0-6 month group members
Mondays, 4-5pm | 8 weeks
February 8 – April 19 (no meeting 2/15, 3/1, 3/29)
212-362-2985 for discount!
http://www.prenatalyogacenter.com/cmps_index.php?page=events

Kripalu Lenox Ma
The Pelvic Floor and More
http://www.kripalu.org/program/view/YTEW-101/yoga_therapy_the_pelvic_floor_and_more

Bread and Yoga Studio Inwood
4951 Braodway at 207th 212 569 4112

Sleep Workshop Jan 12
Infant Massage January 26th at 12:30 to registser call 212 569 4112 $25 in advance, $30 at door
New Mom’s Support Group Feb 2 at 12:30. This is not a drop in class $125 to register call 212 569 4112
ask about discounts if you sign up for more than one of Jessica

Wiggles and Giggles Playhouse Washington Heights
West 181st St at Riverside Dr 212 543 2393

Sleep Workshop for babies newborn-1 year January 21 at 12:15 register with Wiggles and Giggles 212 543-2393
New Mom’s Support Group Weds 11:30-12:30 Feb 3 $125 8sessions
Infant Massage

Metro Minis: UES
821 Park Ave at 75th
212-313 9600
http://store.metrominis.net/index.php

New Mother’s Support Group begins March 1 at 11:30 $125 Register with momsupport 212-781-6368
Sleep Workshop January 27 12:30 ($20 pre pay, $25 at door) http://store.metrominis.net/index.php
Infant Massage January 30 3pm http://store.metrominis.net/index.php

Program Descriptions:

New Mother’s Support Groups: 8 session series for moms with babies newborn-5 months

A facilitated support and discussion group for moms with their babies (newborn – 6 months)
Find the power to embrace the journey of motherhood with confidence and connect with new moms just like you. Share experiences, ask questions, and make supportive friendships.
Topics include:
mom and baby wellness
breastfeeding/bottle feeding
introduction to solids
sleep issues
staying at home versus working outside the home
isolation
childcare
family life
self image, and more.

Settled Mother’s Support Groups: 8 sessions series for mothers with babies 5 months to 12 months

A weekly facilitated discussion on the journey from infancy to babyhood into toddler-hood. Connect with other moms and discuss:
-Sleep issues
-Behavioral issues
-Eating solids
-Breastfeeding or weaning
-Introduction of siblings
-Childcare solutions
-Returning to work
-Family dynamics
-Tapping into your own personal growth

Sleep Workshops: 1 to 2 hour group sessions for parents with babies newborn-1

What does a schedule even look like?
My spouse comes home in the evening and riles up the baby.
Is it OK to rock my baby to sleep?
Should I put my baby on a schedule?
How do I cut down on night-time feeding?
Can I sleep with my baby?
I feel guilty asking my partner to help at night.
My baby is 3 months, can I still swaddle her?
Is crying it out the only way?

Your questions and opinions are welcome!

Infant Massage: For precrawling babies

Massage is great addition to your toolbox of techniques to sooth and bond with your baby. Massage assists with sleep, colic, communication and relaxation. Learn the techniques, routine and benefits of massaging your baby.

Infant Massage is taught in a relaxed, hands-on, one hour session with Jessica Shapley, certified infant massage teacher, practitioner and licensed social worker.

Infant massage is a gift each parent will be able to share with their child throughout a lifetime.

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New Groups In Manhattan

Jessica Shapley — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 00:00:35 +0000

January check out my sleep workshops, infant massage classes and New Mom’s groups in Washington Heights at Wiggles and Giggles and in Inwood at Bread and Yoga Studio as well as in February at the Discovery Program in Morningside Heights. See my calender for details of where and when. January: http://momsupport.org/calendar.asp?mm=1&yy=2010

Febrary: http://momsupport.org/calendar.asp?mm=2&yy=2010

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Breastfeeding:Did you know…

Jessica Shapley — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:09:29 +0000

information collected from the Healthy Children Project 2009/2010

Pumping at least 8 times a day for pump dependent moms helps establish and maintain adequate milk supply.

Pumping in short frequent intervals is very effective.

Ongoing nipple stimulation is required for ongoing milk production. Nipple stimulation triggers prolactin which causes milk to be made.

If you have mastitis, it is best to keep breastfeeding frequently from both sides.

Hurried and infrequent feedings have been found to be a significant risk factor for getting mastitis.

It is important to teat both mom and baby if one of you has thrush (cadidiases). It is also important to clean all vectors (from pacis, to bottles, things that go in baby’s mouth, nipple shields even towels being used).

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Returning to Work

Jessica Shapley — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 16:10:09 +0000

I always thought I would return to work after my maternity leave. Why wouldn’t I? It was a no brainer. (I also thought I could “throw” the kid in the back pack and hike the Himalayas….not so much!)

After a fearful start to motherhood which included lactation issues, heightened anxiety and sleeplessness (duh)- 3 months came around and I was gearing up to return to work and low an behold, I was beginning to feel more comfortable in this foreign role as mom. While trying to wrap my head around leaving my baby for a full time job (i did not love) was daunting and I was given the opportunity (family support) not to return to work and that became the “no brainer”.

This isn’t always possible. Moms return to (outside of the house) work in all sorts of ways; Full time, part time, staying at home, daycare, babysitter etc. As I often tell the women in my New Mom’s Groups: “No camp is perfect”. There are often challenges and positive parts to whatever we end up doing. For example, if you are at work all day and come home at the end of the day- you have a different freshness for being home with your little one. You are able to be in that moment with your baby that perhaps staying home all day and trying to get anything else done at home can actually keep you out of all those “baby moments”. While working all day and missing the details of your baby’s day can be painful, some people use skype, a communication log and phone call updates to get them through the day. My friend, who returned to work after her 3+ months off, told her babysitter “please don’t tell me when my baby does something new. I want to discover it for myself. “ I also will add, after a year, back at work, she quit her job and stayed home full time (she had a second baby and gave birth to a second career, since).

There is a lot of new that comes out of being a new mom, of course I haven’t even brought up work/career/identity/identity integration (that’s another blog entry). I also have not mentioned the logistics, including pumping and introducing bottles for breast feeding moms. Often thinking outside the box, can be helpful (think flexible hours and schedules or job sharing, babysitter shares).

No matter what, when deciding to return to work childcare is one of the main issues. I will say that once this is in place (and hopefully somewhat in advance of your first day) the focus then can turn to enjoying your baby, processing your torn feelings of sadness about leaving her or perhaps guilt about feeling excited about returning to your work environment (one you hopefully enjoy). It takes a lot of advance thought to figure out when you’ll pump, how your day is going to look and will your baby be happy that cannot be predicted it has to be experienced.

The New York Times recently had an article about returning to work (and even being pregnant at work) that addresses some of these issues http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/22/jobs/22career.html. Also a book that I recommend is Nursing Mother Working Mother by Gale Pryor.

Whatever you decide to do, whatever you have to do, you’ll make it work out. It might not be what you had originally in mind, but it might be what evolves as your are paying attention to the details of your decisions. Oh, and by the way- it actually is not a no brainer

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Healthy Children Project

Jessica Shapley — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:36:33 +0000

Promoting breast feeding information, support and services to moms (and families).

Did you Know: Skin to Skin baby wearing keep babies warmer, calmer, babies can hear their mom’s heartbeat, milk supply is improved and initiates a positive start to breast feeding, bonding, feeding on cue.

Did you know: Getting off to a good start at breastfeeding means nursing at least 10 times in a 24 hour period.

Did you know: When your baby is in REM sleep (rapid eye movement, when baby is not deeply asleep) is a great time to nurse baby. This will happen beofre baby cries. Sometimes when baby is crying they are a bit to frantic to latch on properly.

Baby opening mouth, rooting, making sucking sounds are all cues for feeding time.

Information provided from Health Education Associates and the Healthy Children Project/

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What’s scarier, the swine flu or Halloween?

Jessica Shapley — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:48:34 +0000

OK- I need to be writing an article about Halloween for my column in Manhattan Times News, but what feels a lot scarier than Halloween is The Swine Flu. Is it the symptoms, the death talks or the hysteria fueling my fear. Recently the New Yorker did a good piece on the science and the fear: http://www.newyorker.com/talk/comment/2009/10/12/091012taco_talk_specter Oinking aside, how much purell can I buy? My apartment is littered with it. I have decided to get the shot, my kids have asthma, my mother has COPD and cancer and I work with pregnant women and babies. I have gotten the flu vaccine yearly since having children. When my kids developed asthma the doctor encouraged us to get the vaccine and they tolerated it and did not get the flu.

My kids have gotten really pretty good about washing their hands when they first come into the apartment . I send handi wipes to school with them but is there anything else, short of wearing a protective mask? http://video.nytimes.com/video/2009/09/11/nyregion/1247464538390/watch-out-swine-flu-.html

How do we protect our selves and others and not become obsessed? Our government regulating the vaccines add to the controversies that will arise as a result of a new vaccine on the market. It’s hard to keep in all straight and clear. There was a good NPR (National Public Radio) piece done about a month ago that addressed questions and concerns http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1134

Juliet LeBien wrote an “editorial” while pregnant, lat month. She is a social worker who works in infectious disease: She highlights the “higher risk” groups, such as pregnant women and young people.

In NY, there have been about 81 deaths attributed to swine flu; nationwide, over 600, putting the death rate at.04%. That’s the rate of death for seasonal flu, too. But here’s a contrast: the death rate for pregnant women who have contracted the swine flu jumps dramatically, and severe disease is far more likely. Mortality occurred mostly in the second and third trimester, with the third being seen as “more dangerous”, probably because the immune system is compromised for quite a while AND the lungs are “squished” allowing for the virus to overtake the lungs easily, pneumonias to set in, etc. Six percent of ALL deaths-around the world-are pregnant women. This constitutes, to those of us in stats, “unacceptable” rate. The Infectious Disease net noted early on in this pandemic that this particular flu seems to hit pregnant women very hard, with the theory being that maybe the deep penetration of the lungs causes severe disease.

NYC stopped publishing the “underlying conditions” of people who died of swine flu, unfortunately there have been some tragic cases of pregnant women in NYC and around the country and globe. These cases are very difficult for health-care workers. Many of the New Yorkers hospitalized for in “wave 1″ were pregnant women. I also know there were stories of amazing recovery! One woman (not in NYC) was put in a medically induced coma, C-sectioned, and aggressively treated. She did recover, after about 30 days post C-section and is now home with her child. Other women were successfully treated and could carry to full term, although they were women who caught the infection early on and took medication withing 48 hours of first noting symptoms. There is also a new therapy for severely ill people that involves IV administration of medication.

Just so you know, the flu shot is always a crap shoot, no matter what formulation of virus it has in it, so the risks are always the same. The flu is constantly mutating, so every year you’re getting a new, rather untested formulation. I’m heartened that this H1N1 shot is actually being tested on pregnant women shows me that people are serious about making sure it’s safe. The fact that this disease is really striking down younger people is troublesome. And while in most cases, people are fine, I can let you know that my 16 year old nephew in Louisiana who had it earlier this month was quite ill for a good 5 days (over 103 degree fever), with a cough that’s still lingering.
-Juliet Keeler LeBien, LCSW

The decision to inoculate is only part of the battle, getting the vaccine is the other. Schools in NYC are supposed to be dispensing the H1N1 nose spray (not good for those with asthma). Pediatricians are to receive it, but that’s a daily call to your doctor, so who knows when. The following site is the NY Gov site on flu vaccine and treatment:
http://www.nyc.gov/html/doh/flu/html/home/home.shtml. City clinics aren’t due to distribute until November.

Alternatives to the vaccine, I just don’t know. I think no matter what, boosting our immune system, eating well, sleeping well, washing hands- are common sense actions to take. I wonder if Depok Chopra or Andrew Weil would suggest their grandchildren or pregnant family members get the H1N1 vaccine. I wonder if any of those individuals had underlying conditions if that would influence their decision. I wonder if living in NY, riding the subway, going to a public school, being pregnant, having and underlying condition would influence anyone’s decision- in either direction.

And what about our childcare providers? In one of my groups yesterday, a mom asked if she could “make” her babysitter get the flu shot (her baby was under 6 months of age). I know at hospitals, right now, staff is required to receive a flu shot. If your childcare worker is “on the books” this might hold a greater influence for them. The mom decided to pay for her babysitter’s vaccine and search for a convenient place for her to get it. To get this shot is a personal decision, to ask your employee to get the shot and offer options for her, might be helpful. Forcing your provider to get the vaccine, I don’t see how that is possible. You might want to review with your employee some calling in sick guidelines. If your babysitter comes to work with a bad cold because she doesn’t want to “stand you up” this isn’t always helpful. Decide what the parameters of coming to work when not feeling well are for you and your babysitter.

What are your thoughts about the swine flu and the swine flu shot? How are you addressing this issue? I’d love to know.
Jessica,
momsupport: Identifying the power to embrace the journey

Overview of flu trends in NYC http://nyc.gov/html/doh/flu/html/data/data.shtml

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The food or the monsters, which was scarier?

Jessica Shapley — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:13:19 +0000

After nixing Melia’s (my daughter) wish to have her birthday party here, we decided as a family to go to lunch at Jekyll and Hyde restaurant in NYC. I am sure some people love this place, I am not exactly sure who. Maybe there are things to like about it but my husband and I thought it was pricey, dusty and the food as close to inedible as I have ever experienced. I commissioned my daughter, Jaya, to (literally) type up her and her sister’s opinions of this restaurant. I think they hit the nail on the coffin (ha ha).

In their own words -Jaya’s and Melia’s Opinion and Review:

Why did you want to go to Jekyll and Hyde?
melia’s responds: i thought it would be better.
jaya’s responds: i thought it would be more fun.

What did you expect?
melia’s responds: i hoped it would be more funny scary not scary scary
jaya’s responds: brains and bloody eye’s for meals waiters dressed in ogre costume’s.

What did you experience when you got there?

melia’s responds: i was really scared i wanted to go home.
jaya’s responds: i felt the need to cling on to daddy and have melia be my tester for popping up monsters.
Was it what you wanted it to be?
melia’s responds: no!
jaya’s responds: not really no.
What did you eat? How was the food?
melia’s responds:all the food had m.s.g. it made me tired and thirsty
jaya’s responds: the food was disgusting.the h20 was better than the food.

extra info:
jaya’s responds: the commercial said for 5 and up it should say for 9 and up. This scary skeleton came down from the ceiling and this little girl started crying.
How many stars: 5 is the best

Food Jaya no stars Melia 1 star

Cleanliness Jaya -1 star, Melia -0 star
Entertainment Jaya 5 stars, Melia 5 stars
Scary pop ups Jaya -1 star melia -1 star
arcade Jaya 2 star Melia 5 stars (because i got to hide in the photo booth)

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Woman gets pregnant while pregnant

Jessica Shapley — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 21:55:31 +0000

Woman gets pregnant – while pregnant
An Arkansas couple found out that they were having a baby and then discovered they were having two babies – but they aren’t twins, according to media reports.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33006136/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/from/ET
Hard to believe. How does the birth go? So many questions!

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Becoming a new mom

Jessica Shapley — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 15:24:15 +0000

The birth of a baby coincides with the birth of a mother. However life as a baby, as well as life as a mother come in stages of development. Sometimes these stages don’t develop at the same rate. I believe much of this has to do with our focus on the birth and not quite being able to fully picture what life with baby will be like. Certainly we all are told things and read things and have ideas about things but until we have OUR baby we can’t truly understand what day to day (or rather moment to moment) life is really going to be like. The nursing, the sleep even how we are bonding with our baby are often surprises to mothers.

Some moms are fortunate to fall in love right away, many feel the mama bear instinct rise immediately but some of us, feeling in love takes a bit longer. Accepting wherever we might be at, asking and receiving help to support our journey (physically and emotionally) and continuing to care and nurture our newborns is the job at hand. But what about ourSelves? It is somewhat hard to keep track of our own needs when we are so consumed and sleep deprived. When extended family is far away or the relationship is strained it is important to pull in whatever resources we can, hiring a doula, saying “yes” to a neighbor volunteering to walk the dog, joining a new mothers support group where you can receive and give emotional support to other women growing through a similar experience. Building a network of support is one of the best things you can do for yourself, which in turn is one of the best things you can do for your baby. Hillary wasn’t kidding when she said “it takes a village”.

parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/09/advice-for-brand-new-parents/

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